I don't look good in a bathing suit.
I'm not being self-depricating: it's just the way it is. In clothes, I can disguise wide hips and what I like to call a Buddha belly, the existence of which DH denies but the mirror, particularly at the end of the day, tells me exists. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny, either, and I look skinnier in clothes.
So I was suprised last week, when trying on suits, to find that my new swimming club has actually helped tighten things up. Things are looking not better, but not as bad as they used to look. The real test is looking in the mirror at the mirror behind you, and not being absolutely horrified. And I wasn't.
And then I got mad.
I got mad that pretty soon, I have to stop swimming, even though now I'm one of the fastest of the slow group or the slowest of the fast group, depending on how you look at it. I can swim 3 or 4 strokes decently. And I don't look hideous in a bathing suit right now.
And I have to stop. I have to stop to put myself through this horrible process, which will probably cause me to gain weight, which will cause shortness of breath now that I can FINALLY swim 7 strokes without taking a breath. And the worst part? It will screw my body up, but I still probably won't get a baby out of it.
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Infertility is no fun--but if you don't find the humor in it, you'll go crazy.
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1 comment:
You'll be awesome pregnancy swimming mama. Or not. I can say that I also do not look good in a bathing suit, but then, I can't swim 7 laps. I am horrified at looking at myself from behind and it seems to be getting worse. But you know what? Now that I'm getting a pregnancy belly, I don't even CARE what I look like. In fact, I think the stomach is drawing attention away from the thighs and butt (at least I'm hoping so.) I figure if I'm ever going to be 'given a break' for looking bad in a suit, it's NOW.
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