As fun as I find it to be surrounded by my family, it does sometimes seem like the holidays are all about other people and how much you're failing to please them or make them comfortable. I've had a lovely couple of weeks, but I'm exhausted--running around, here and there, hoping I made everyone from out of town feel loved and comfortable and special.
I tend to get a little resentful, I must admit--to think people are being self-centered when they're not showing up when I want them to, or saying the things I want them to, or refraining from saying the things I wish they wouldn't.
Today we had a get together and a good friend came, bringing her adorable 9 month old. He laughed and wiggled and giggled and batted his eyelashes. My mom wanted to hold him, my aunt wanted to hold him, my grandmother wanted to hold him. And inexplicably, this made me feel guilty. Like they'd want to hold my baby, if I had one, and somehow, I was letting them down.
As if they're holding a beautiful baby and blaming me for something. Or feeling like it has anything to do with me. Seriously, some people are so self-centered.
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