Who You Callin' Baby?

I used to play this game with myself. I'd think of a friend I loved, who was trying to get pregnant, and I'd think, "I'll just have to get pregnant while X is pregnant, so we can share the experience together."

Let me tell you, in most cases, X is no longer pregnant.

X had a baby, a long, long time ago.

X probably has a toddler now, a screaming, verbal beast. X will try to talk to me about how bad infertility is, but it will be punctured with comments over the shoulder, "No sweetie, don't rub your poopies on the wall." "Honey, can you please tell her not to rub her poopies on the wall?" Followed by, "Oh, sorry. I KNOW what you mean. Those infertility drugs are horrible." X does not know what the infertility drugs feel like. She is sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. She is mentally calculating how she can help pay for college by having her pre-teens babysit my unborn child.

They try, and I can't blame them. It's their kids. They're supposed to stay babies, but they don't. They grow up. They get personalities. They demand attention.

And I'm still not pregnant.