A Miscarriage is Just Like a Job Interview

A few days ago, DH and I were out for a hike, and I was feeling down. He must have been feeling pensive, because he told me he understood, and then he shared what he must have thought was a brilliant (or at least not horrifying) analogy for the experience of miscarriage after IVF.

"It's like I've been unemployed for a really long time," he said earnestly. "I've been unemployed and suddenly I get a job interview. And I am really excited about this job. I really want it. And I get an interview. And I don't get the job."

Yeah.

Not exactly.

So I said, "That's not how I feel at all."

And then he got upset. "Why don't you ask me what I mean, help me explore it?" he asked.

Because I know what you meant. You meant that a miscarriage is like interviewing for a job you want that you don't get. Not too complicated. Is it really so weird that I understand, but still think you're crazy? When he asked me how it feels for me, I said, without hesitation, "It feels like I keep getting kicked in the stomach, over and over again." So yeah, basically just like a job interview, only without the job and with the kicking.

I think there are some things about infertility that I must accept as truths. One is that my husband, as wonderful as he is, is not going to break the boundaries of gender identity. He may come to every single appointment, he may let me cry when I need to and rage when I need to, but he is still going to make bad analogies and love the REs office because it has Sports Illustrated.

Maybe I should just buy him a subscription.