Snowbabies on Ice

You'd think that laying around for 3 days, I'd find time to blog. But it's hard to do laying down, on my side, so instead I'm watching a lot of bad TV and movies I picked up at the library. In this horrible repertoire, I must admit that I've watched a movie with Lindsey Lohan (Georgia Rule: horrible!) and a show I'd heard of on MTV but never seen called The Hills (an equal insult to the intelligence of the American public--but entertaining).

The good news is, transfer went smoothly on day 5. I have the world's smallest bladder, so I was seriously worried about having to fill it before going in and then dying and writhing on the table. But good news: valium really seems to help with that (I felt goooood). And my difficult cervix didn't put up a fight, either, which was amazing.

But for all that I waste time googling "lupron" and "morphology" and a bunch of other infertile words, I was completely unschooled in the codes of embryo grading. The doctor
who did the transfer, Dr. G, isn't my regular doc, though I'd seen him before. We had to consult with him before the actual transfer, to discuss how things had developed.

I'd read that only about 30% of day 3 embryos make it to day 5 blastocysts, but that the number is usually around 50% in younger women (at 32, I'm "younger" in the ivf world). So I was hoping that of my 9, there would be 4 that would stick around, 2 for now, 2 for freezing (now I hear they're called "snowbabies"). It seemed hopeful but realistic.

But Dr. G right away gave me the impression that just wasn't going to happen. I think part of it was, he clearly already had a plan and knew he just needed to get us to sign on to it. We had one blast that was fully expanded--only one--and good quality. There were 3 others that were expanding, and he suggested we implant our little golden ticket + one of these, letting the embryologist choose the best of the lot. A few more were morulas (where they usually are on day 4, I now know) and the rest, "eh" (translation--I can't remember what he actually said). He said expect 0-2 for freezing.

I was really disheartened by this and I have to admit I started crying a little in the transfer room (not while he was there, thank goodness). I feared it meant my eggs were no good, and I felt this added pressure, like this wasn't going to work and if it didn't I was going to have to start all over (no more crazy drugs, please!). While I was busy feeling sorry for myself and DH was trying to convince me things looked good and to stay in the present (the present? What's THAT about?!), the embryologist came in and told me that while I was being an obsessive loser, another blastocycst had expanded fully and they'd keep culturing the rest for another day--they weren't bad, just slow. Then she called me yesterday to tell me that 6 out of the 7 remaining made it to blastocysts and were frozen!

If I were on The Hills, I'd say something like, "OMG, Dr. G is such a liar!" but since I'm not, I'll just count my blessings, hope these little bryos inside me decide to stick around, and acknowledge how lucky I am that that I've got some snowbabies on ice.