May 2008: I Learn the Sperm Lady's Name and Pee My Pants

May wasn't a successful month--two eggs and still no bebe!--but it was an interesting one. First, because I learned the sperm lady's name. We had time to chat a little because the doctor needed a minute with the catheter, so I thought, What the heck? Might as well learn the names of everyone in the room when my baby might be conceived. I also learned that day that I need a Jones catheter, which might come in handy some day. Not that I can see a life threatening reason I'd need a cervical catheter, but if there is one, I hope they know it can't just be any old catheter--Jones for me, please.


The other interesting thing that happened to me in May was that I peed my pants. Well, almost. As Dr. M told me, I needed progesterone suppositories to keep me from spotting. After the IUI and until my period started, I had to insert these two times a day. They were a little messy, but I mostly work at home, which means it's easier to keep things under control.


Notice I said mostly. Once or twice a week, I take a very early morning train to my office quite some distance away, and then walk the mile from the train station to work. The suppositories are refrigerated, and I'm supposed to let them warm up outside the fridge for 2o minutes before inserting, then wait another 20 minutes, laying down, to let them absorb. And I leave my house at 6:10 a.m. for the train. All this means that I woke up for the first time at 4:30 in the morning to get the suppository out, woke up again at 4:50 to insert it, and woke up again at 5:20 to drag myself out of bed. While stumbling around in a half sleep dealing with this whole thing, I forgot to put on a pad.


Everything was fine until my mile walk, when I realized my mistake. At first it just felt sort of uncomfortable, but it soon became clear to me that I had basically failed to put on a diaper. I didn't need one at home, because the facilities were close by, but not so on a mile walk. And I was in a residential neighborhood, so there was nowhere to stop and remedy things. I just had to keep moving, taking small, shuffling steps like my feet had been bound.


Thank goodness I have the best office mate. And that she'a good friend. Because I could call her up, explain that I'd had an "accident," and ask for her help. She came over right away with a skirt. Luckily no one in the office noticed it was hers, or that I'd changed clothes. I would have had a hard time explaining why my infertility caused incontinence.