April 2008: Introducing the Sperm Lady

April was supposed to be my first IUI at the clinic. I had to get a series of tests beforehand though--a long list, and I was so anxious that I kept double checking with the medical assistant to make sure I had every single one and could get started. She assured me that I did. On the day I started my period, I was supposed to call into the clinic and get instructions from a nurse to get the medications and get started. The nurse who called me back looked at my file and said, "You don't have all your tests. We have to skip this month."

But remember how I said I WOULD NOT WAIT? I started blubbering like a baby and begging this woman, like a true addict, to prescribe Clomid. Come on, man. Just let me have the Clomid now, we'll sort all that out later. Luckily, she was used to dealing with crazy ladies--she gave me a clearly practiced, "come-off-that-ledge" speech--and she helped me out.

The day for the IUI came uneventfully--I was used to the hot flashes now. But the IUI was different than I expected. When the doctor and medical assistant entered the room, someone else followed. It was a woman carrying a tray, and she looked at us and said, "I have this for Mr. and Mrs. XX" and we realized she was waiting for us to acknowledge yes, that was us.

Which took me a minute to do because I was just so fascinated that this is someone's job. As far as I can tell, sperm is that lady's business. It's what she does all day, and she stands there while the doctor's inserting it--I guess making sure it goes in the right person is part of her job too. Of course it didn't happen right away, because the catheter thing took a little while. As last time, it got really quiet the longer it took. You could hear a pin drop. I couldn't help but think to myself, I never would have thought there'd be 5 people in a dead silent room when my baby was conceived.

I didn't need to worry that month.